follow my footsteps.

Tuesday, October 16

Exams are finally over. Yay. But there are still lots of things which are not wrapped up completely....and what more, i still have 2 more non-SA2 exams to go. Chinese 'O's and Music theory. Im definitely more worried about my theory exam coz im left with only 2+ weeks and i still have lots more to go. in fact i just started and there's so much to learn, esp. the techniques. I force myself to push it on. I dont want to disappoint my parents. Neither do i want to disappoint my teacher. And myself too, coz ive reached thus far and do not want to lose it so easily just because i do not put in effort for the last lap. Ive got to do well.

There's also a personal reason for what drives me in working so hard for my exams. Dont bother asking, coz its personal. But it has sustained me and i have to keep it going to fulfil my aim. No matter how much i dont like to do something, i still have to push myself to do it or else i will never get the thing done if i just sit back and relax.

The roller coaster ride of emotions is wheezing past me again. Im not depressed or whatever, im just disheartened and discouraged. Ill tell myself im ok, and look on more positive things waiting for me ahead and always think of things i like or look forward to to suppress the feeling and let it fade away. i will think of things that make me happy and smile. well, as long as it makes my day :) Then i will be ok soon and get it picking up within me, i hope this will quickly end and that it will be no exception.

Sometimes i just wish i can start from scratch, to wind up the mistakes in my life....

; 9:39 pm